NASCAR sensation Kyle Busch earned the nickname, The Candyman, because of his lead sponsor, Mars, Incorporated. Candy coating aside, the sweet life Busch and his wife Samantha appear to enjoy have a few less than semi-sweet notes to it. The couple met many moons ago on the Indianapolis Motor Speedway. He was a rising NASCAR champion. She was working her way through college as a promotional model. They were young and in love with the world literally at their fingertips. The couple married in 2010 and knew they wanted kids from the get go, but figured they had plenty of time and wanted to devote more of it to travel. Logging quite a few miles since those days, the road to parenthood hasn’t been the short track first imagined. Rather a journey of exponential joy transcending a path paved in heartbreak and loneliness. Samantha uses her family’s story to help others achieve similar dreams while realizing new chapters in her own. And, she has a few things to say about it.
As tempting as it may be to surmise that race wives like Samantha coast in the draft of their successful husbands, Samantha is living proof to the contrary. She joins a cast of other women married into the industry to dispel this myth on the CMT reality show, Race Wives. She says,”It’s funny. When he and I started dating I was in college. He was racing when I was accepted into a variety of grad schools. I didn’t want to lose who I was.” Samantha bi-passed any posing pit stops to earn her undergrad from Purdue and her masters from Austin Peay State University
Soon after she married Kyle, Samantha began blogging as a means for traveling and as a platform to launch online businesses which has paid off. Not only do she and Kyle build his racing career together, but she’s utilized the same skill sets to create an online store selling all the latest in fashion trends called Murph Boutique.“We lean on each other for advice,” she explains of her professional relationship with her husband.
Unfortunately, “first came the blog, then came the baby carriage,” was not the happy song this couple had hoped to sing. “We started trying and like every couple it was exciting. Since I was on birth control at the time, we realized it might take a while,” Samantha remembers. On month eight, she went to her gynecologist expressing concerns, but was told to be patient. “I come from a large Italian family. Kyle and I work out, eat clean and live a healthy lifestyle. I never thought this would be an issue,” she describes their fight with infertility.
Doctors diagnosed Samantha with one of the more common reasons why women have trouble getting pregnant–– Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS). When a woman has PCOS, her ovaries are larger than normal inviting a host of tiny cysts and which contain immature eggs caused by abnormally high production of the hormone androgen. She was promptly prescribed clomiphene, the drug routinely prescribed to encourage healthy ovulation cycles, and sent on her merry way.
Still, there was a missing part to this equation, as it takes two to make a baby. “It’s three simple things really- that infertility is generally broken up into 3 causes, 1/3 female, 1/3 male or 1/3 unexplained. The second part is that because it’s always put on the woman’s shoulders, they generally only test women. In their case, if they would have done three simple tests early on – ultra sound, blood test and tested Kyle – they would have found that they both had issues causing their infertility.We wasted so much time. If only someone had given me an ultrasound, blood test and tested Kyle,”
The couple chose In Vitro Fertilization (IVF), per their doctor’s recommendation. A widely used method to address infertility, the process is expensive. It involves egg extraction, sperm collection, in-laboratory fertilization and finally the embryo is implanted in a uterus with no guarantee of pregnancy on the first attempt costing upwards of $20,000.
The Buschs got pregnant on their first try, realizing they were fortunate well beyond financial means. Their first-born is now an energetic four-and-a-half-year-old son named Brexton. Sadly, the family grieves the miscarriage of their second child which was a girl, but have been trying again,“He’s very excited when we told him that we were trying. All of his friends have siblings. We had to tell him when we lost his sister, but that she’s an angel now.” Brexton anxiously awaits a baby sister, as the couple is able to select their child’s gender from the collected embryos.
Using her high profile Instagram account often to tell their story in hopes to inspire others, Samantha says, “I feel like God gave me a big voice. I’m not bashful. People don’t want the fairy tale version. I like to tell it like it is.”
And, to tell it like it is she does.
Recently ‘graming a photo where the she and Kyle are holding hands surrounded by numerous needles, the caption reads, “ It was recommended to us by our doctor that with our last girl embryo we use a surrogate to give her the best chance possible. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed knowing that I will not get to carry her, to feel her kicks and have her close to me at all times. I will do whatever it takes to have a healthy sister for Brexton...”
You’re not alone, if you find yourself wondering why they accept the harsh realities of infertility as a sign that they should adopt a child. With the nearly half a million children in the foster care system here in the U.S., it might seem like a no brainer.
The topic of infertility, as Samantha explains, can’t be considered without the range of emotions which include sadness, guilt, and anger. But, when it comes down to it, she says, “I feel like it’s a personal decision for each couple. Adoption may be a step down the road if we still are trying to have a sibling for Brexton. Adoption is a beautiful thing. Sometimes there is negativity against us and that’s not fair. I don’t feel it’s right to make it sound like that’s such an easy option. For me, that’s something between a husband and a wife. I’ve spoken on this before. Couples who don’t struggle with fertility aren’t confronted with why they don’t adopt. The same should be true for us.”
So, the couple felt that “God placed it in our hearts” to help others that struggle with these issues by founding The Samantha and Kyle Busch Bundle of Joy Fund. A monetary award for in-need couples struggling with infertility, these funds assist with the costs associated with IVF treatment through the REACH Clinic of Charlotte, the very same clinic they’ve personally used for family planning.
Along with the nearly $750,000 in donations which have helped 45 families resulting in 25 births, Samantha says that a great deal of resources are also directed in trying to disengage the stigma placed on the subject of IVF. For prospective families there is an application process requiring background information and an essay. The REACH Clinic also offers input, but because of privacy laws that information is limited.
“We pray over it before making the decision,” she explains how recipients are vetted, “It’s a need based grant which no matter how much they’ve saved or extra overtime they’ve put in, they couldn’t save up the $20,000.”
With 2019 now in their rearview mirror, 2020 hasn’t yet cleared the Busch family’s journey with perfect vision. Yet, they’ve set their sights far ahead. Samantha emphasizes that their first bend in the road is to have another child, “How we get there is still unclear.” Over the next decade Samantha hopes to grow the foundation where REACH could perhaps have national reach. She’d also like to see legislation that affords insurance coverage for IVF patients, “Infertility is a classified disease and it’s heartbreaking that insurance doesn’t cover.” She adds that on the professional side of things, Kyle’s performance on the track is always top of mind. Samantha just signed a book deal where she’ll spend any free time writing the memoir of their infertility journey along with self-help tips she’s learned over the years. Be on the lookout for her book release in 2021. And, while she toys with the idea of opening a brick and mortar version of Murph Boutique, she’s unsure due to the 38+ weeks the family remains on the road, all the while homeschooling young Brexton.
And when it comes to hitting the open road, the Busch family haven’t pulled their dreams of personal travel into the garage quite yet. “I would like to go to Italy. My dad came over by boat when he was six. I have a lot of family I’ve never met. Kyle’s always wanted to go, but timing is everything. If you only have one week, that’s a far place to go just for a week. Our ten year is coming up on December 31, 2020. Maybe 2021 is the year for Italy,” she says with a slight lilt in her voice.
To learn more about The Samantha and Kyle Busch Bundle of Joy Fund go to bundleofjoyfund.org.
Need a new outfit? Hit Samantha up over at shopmurph.com!
