by Tonya Leigh
A Glamorous Life. When you think of glamour, what comes to mind? Contrary to
popular belief, glamour is not all about fashion and makeup. Glamour is an energy
of mystery and grace, transcending the ordinary, taking us on a beautiful journey
into enchantment.
What I’ve come to learn about glamour is that it’s all about seeing yourself and the
world through the eyes of charm. So, if you want to live a more glamorous life,
here are 10 ways to do it.
Number one, decide on the life you desire to live and create it for yourself. Each
day, work to upgrade your mindset, your style, and your surroundings.
Number two, have an air of mystery. My rule of thumb, share only when you have
something valuable to offer.
Number three, invest in the details of your life. It’s truly the little things that feel
the most glamorous.
Number four, create a sacred garden. Glamorous ladies have struggles too. So,
invite beloved friends and strong mentors into your life where you can openly
share your life in a safe space.
Number five, edit your life. A mistake many people make in striving for a more
glamorous life is packing it with excess. Glamour is magnified within simplicity.
Number six, dress the part. Glamour is so much more than style. However, wearing
sweatpants every day will never lead to a life of glamour.
Number seven, cultivate your calm. There’s nothing glamorous about being
stressed out and overwhelmed. Breathe in, breathe out, and manage your mind.
Number eight, fall in love. The root of glamour is romanticism. A woman in love
with her life and herself is alluring and intoxicating.
Number nine, cultivate your mind. Indulge your mind in the arts, culture, music,
anything that inspires and expands your intellectual growth.
Number 10, don’t obsess over your looks. While it’s important to present yourself
in a way that feels good to you, it’s not glamorous to obsess over it.
At the end of the day, glamour is a feeling that you cultivate from within and
express it into everything you do. So, tell me, how do you intend to add more
glamour into your life?
Chasing Versus Attracting. Most people chase what they desire. They come at their
goals from a place of scarcity, lack, and not enoughness. Instead of chasing your desires and your dreams, the secret is to create the feeling of already having them. And then, they will chase you. To create what you want, you must align with what you want energetically. You must become a match for it. Feel the feelings of having your desires now. Live as if your prayers have already been answered.
Enjoying Your Life. For years, I tried to improve my life by forcing, hustling,
pressuring, and stressing. I finally understood that to get somewhere, you must bring the energy of where it is you want to go into the life you have now. So, I started a simple practice of
celebrating life every single day; the little and the big things. What happened is that life
started serving me up more things to appreciate and celebrate because I was unknowingly asking the universe to send me more.
Enoughness. Most of our problems and suffering are from not enoughness. Not
enough time, not enough love, not enough money. It’s not good enough. I’m not
good enough. Everything that I coach women around is born out of not enoughness. When
you’re in that state, I really want you to think about how you feel. I know for me,
when I’m in a state of not enoughness, I’m anxious. I’m worried. I’m full of
scarcity. I’m full of lack. I’m not a match for everything that I want.
When you’re in a state of not enoughness, you create more not enoughness? Who determines what is enough? So many of you are saying “I’ll feel enough when I’ve lost the weight, when I’m making more money, when I’ve found that dream guy, when I have the dream job, when I have it all together.” The truth is, there is enough. You are enough. And there will always be enough.
Our job is to do the internal work of getting into a state of enoughness. So, you have to make the decision that whatever you do is always enough, that you are always enough. And from that place, you will be a match for so much more.
Protecting Your Peace. To be an effective mother, woman, daughter, worker, wife, leader, entrepreneur, business owner, fill in the blank, you have to take care of your mental health. And part of that is protecting your peace. So, I want to share with you a few of the things that I have done over the past few months that have helped me tremendously. I limit my social media. Right now, because the collective energy is one of a lot of anxiety and stress, chances are you’re going to open up your feed and you’re going to experience that from other people. I want to protect my peace by being mindful of what I allow into my space. So, for that reason, I’m limiting my social media. I’m also limiting the peace stealers in my life. These are the people that typically have no boundaries. They are the people that love to complain. These are the
people that always seem to be in a crisis. These are the people that are always asking you to help and they expect it. I want to love these people. But sometimes, you have to love them from afar. And then finally, engage in peaceful activities. Now, this is going to look different
for all of us. For me personally, it’s listening to certain types of music. It’s my
meditation practice. It’s taking time to go on long walks in nature, amongst the
trees. Sometimes it’s dancing in my living room.
The Energy You Bring. Your energy is your responsibility. Take it seriously. Your
energy is powerful. You have the power to lift, inspire, and support. Or you have
the power to demean, criticize, and judge. At the end of the day, everyone is responsible for
how they feel. But what if we used this knowledge to make the world a better
place? What if you took great responsibility for the energy that you bring into the
world? What if you learned the valuable skill to process your hurt, anger,
frustration and resentment so that you’re not spewing it out into the world?
What if you took emotional accountability and committed to being a positive force
in every room you enter? What if you are the person that people often say, “She
made my day brighter?” This is my commitment. This is my intention. This is my responsibility.
The Words You Speak. Hafiz said, “The words you speak become the house you
live in.” You can use your words to inspire you, to align you with your dreams, to
make you feel better. Or you can use your words against yourself.
When you are mindful of the thoughts you think, and from those thoughts the
words you speak, you can create an extraordinary life. But what most people do is
they look around at their current reality and they speak words that match that reality. But your current reality was created from your past and the words you spoke in the past. So, if you want to change your circumstances, your current reality, you’re going to have to speak at a level of the reality of that of which you want to create.
The way to decide the words you speak is to ask yourself, did these words inspire
me? Do they motivate me? Do they align with the person I want to be? Are these
words that I’m speaking in the future? I’ve had to be more intentional by cutting out a number of phrases from my own life. Phrases such as, “This is hard. I’m overwhelmed. I’m struggling. I can’t afford it. I don’t know how. I’m confused.” My future self would never utter these words.
So, why would I speak them?I want you to pay attention to the words you speak and ask yourself, do they belong in my future? If not, don’t speak them.
What’s the Hurry? I love to ask my clients, what’s the hurry? It’s always because
they think life will be better over there when they have more money, they have the
perfect guy, they have a different job, they’ve lost the weight, they have more
clients, the house is completely organized, the kids are well-behaved.
This illusion creates a life that you’re always rushing through to get to the next
thing. But have you ever noticed, over there is only as good as here? In other
words, there’s no happy ending to a miserable journey. Here’s why, wherever you
go, there you are.
So, if your belief system is that life is better over there, you will always be chasing
over there. I know that over there will only be as good as here, so I focus on enjoying and creating my life as I want it to be today.
Your Self-Definition. Let’s talk about your self-definition, how you see yourself,
and therefore how you define yourself. If you define yourself as overwhelmed, you’ll create more overwhelm. If you define yourself as a bad manager of money, you’ll manage your money
poorly. If you define yourself as a struggling business owner, you’ll create struggle
in your business. If you define yourself as overweight, you’ll continue to create being overweight.
The mistake we often make is to try and change our results so that we can change
our definition. But that’s not how it works. You will always come back to what
you believe about yourself. You must change your self-definition first and then the
world around you will begin to change as well. You get to decide how you define yourself. Don’t define yourself based on the past. I want you to go into the future, to the version of yourself that has created what you desire and figure out how she defines herself.
